Reality in Alteration
by Luchia13
Summary: Team 7 tumbles into a dark world where Naruto’s been hokage of a ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura’s trying to kill them both. What’s going on? And how can they get back to their own world? SasuNaru, SakuIno
1. Revelation 1: Underneath the Rivalry

A/N: Team 7's about 17 or 18 here. Don't know why they aren't jounin yet…maybe they had another Grand Adventure and couldn't get back to Konoha for a few years? Sure…that'll work. Anyway, that's why Sakura's not all "OMG! SASUKE-KUN!" and everyone's mature-ish and all that. Yay.

"Shinju Bessekai No Jutsu" – Acceptance (of truth) alternate world jutsu. I have NO Japanese skills, so feel free to ignore my attempt if it's truly painful.

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno (yep, femslash. It's new to me too…)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I'm probably not gonna, no matter who I kill or sleep with it. Pity, that... Oh well. Don't sue me, yadda yadda yadda. On to the story!

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 1- Underneath the Rivalry

Sasuke eyed the scroll hesitantly, lips creased in a frown.

"Oh come on, it's just a genjutsu scroll!" Sakura stamped impatiently, mint eyes rolling at her teammates.

Naruto squinted at the scroll, and Sasuke's head tilted another 3.2 degrees to the right- a sign of intense contemplation if there ever was one. "But Sakura-chan, I don't get it."

"What's there to get?" Sakura defended. "It's a brilliant genjutsu scroll!"

"Which was found in Orochimaru's basement," Sasuke added, adding another 1.4 degrees to the head-tilt.

"That's just proof it's brilliant! Sasuke, in all the time you were there, did you ever see anything there that wasn't years ahead of everything chuunin-rank ninja know?" Sakura coaxed, brushing a bit of her short pink hair behind a newly pierced ear.

His midnight eyes looked right at her, a forceful bland expression on his still-tilted head. "I never saw anything that wasn't malicious or evil, either," he stated. "Or harmless."

Naruto was still examining the scroll, scratching his head. "What's this about…alteration?" He frowned. "I still don't get it. How is this a brilliant genjutsu?"

The head-tilt turned to a full-fledged 5 degrees. "That's what I'd like to know."

Sakura's eyes rolled again. "It's a genjutsu that doesn't just alter the perception of the target, it alters the thing being perceived!"

Naruto grinned. "Sounds like you don't get it either!"

"It can't be a genjutsu then," Sasuke said, ignoring Sakura's reaction and (since none of them seemed to notice his head-tiltage) went an extreme 10 degrees, and Naruto stopped fending off Sakura's super-charged fists to turn towards his rival. "Ninjutsu alter outside elements, genjutsu alter mental elements, taijutsu alter physical elements."

"I KNOW that," Sakura snapped, and sat back down on her side of the scroll, still flushed from her attack on the blonde. "But what else could it be with all these attributes? 'Mental displacement', 'truth in deception', 'reality in alteration'? If that's not genjutsu, I don't know what it is."

"Exactly," Sasuke said, and Sakura glared at him.

"No matter what we say, she's gonna do it anyway," Naruto shrugged to his rival, who frowned. "I say we just help her and make sure she doesn't blow anything up this time."

"That was ONCE, and it was an explosive ninjutsu anyway," Sakura muttered.

"And if it goes wrong, you can take us to the hospital," Sasuke added, the fact Naruto was practically indestructible ingrained in his memory ever since a boulder had literally squashed him, and only left the demon vessel with a nasty bruise on his back.

"Alright then! It's decided," Naruto grinned, and turned towards Sakura. "So! What now?"

She shrugged, smiling brightly. "We do the jutsu. You two are such pessimists. How bad could it possibly be?"

Surprisingly used to this sort of thing, Naruto and Sasuke flanked their pink-haired teammate as she began the seals, and finally slammed her hand onto the scroll, shouting out "OUSHI BESSEKAI NO JUTSU!"

A blinding black flash erupted from the scroll, consuming the three of them.

x---x

When Naruto's eyes opened, they were greeted with Sasuke glaring down at him from heaven, a blue halo of sky bringing out the navy accents in his hair. "Get up, dobe."

He complied, looking around gob smacked. Yes, they were still in Sakura's apartment, except it now had no roof, no furniture, and what had once been two windowed, structurally necessary walls was now a gaping hole that showed them that the rest of this Konoha district in equal disrepair.

"This is a fucking WEIRD genjutsu," Naruto muttered, and Sasuke nodded, scrounging around the room for anything that could be useful…oh, hey. "Where's Sakura-chan?"

"She wasn't here when I woke up, but she left a note," he said, negligently holding up a slip of paper with Sakura's distinctive handwriting on it. "Says she needs to investigate something and will meet us for dinner near our tree."

'OUR tree' was something Kakashi had smashed into their heads by giving them a nondescript, out-of-town meeting place so that if they ever needed to speak privately, they had an ideal location for it. And, of course, "dinner" meant at 7:22 PM exactly- another code that they'd grown so used to using on the road that they didn't even try to avoid it anymore.

"So what do we do then? Just sit around and wait for her to come get us out of the jutsu?"

Sasuke shrugged, finally picking up a misplaced shuriken from the dirty floor and slipping it into his weapons pouch. "I'm going to explore. I want to know more about the genjutsu, since the scroll was so vague."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto nodded, and shrugged. "I might as well do that too." Stretching for a moment, the blonde grinned at his rival. "Never know when Orochimaru and his tongue might come after you- you sure you're okay to run away?"

Sasuke snorted. "You sure you have enough brain cells left to not slam into a tree, dobe? You were just knocked out by a _genjutsu_, after all."

Translation? _Be careful, idiot. You die, I'll kill you. _

The two smirked at each other, and tore off in opposite directions.

It wasn't too long until Naruto found himself in the forest outside Konoha, grinning to himself as Sasuke's all-to-familiar chakra could be felt chasing after him. Apparently it was time to regroup and do that whole 'information gathering' thing. Either that, or the Uchiha was bored and wanted to spar. Hell, he was fine with either. Naruto would never admit it, but Sasuke was fun to be around, even if it was just because of the enjoyment he got from driving the sullen boy insane.

Grinning, Naruto dropped down from the tree branches and onto the forest floor. It was more fun to fight Sasuke on solid ground, simply because Sasuke got closer and made funny growling noises when they fought on hard ground.

He didn't have to wait long, either- Sasuke was suddenly THERE in front of him (Naruto couldn't remember him being that silent before; he'd need to train more to keep up with the genius' stealth skills, apparently). Now wearing baggy black pants instead of his usual shorts and bandages, he smirked at Naruto.

"Shirking as usual, I see," Sasuke said, arms crossed over his shirt and just looking WEIRD to Naruto- or was it at? There was definitely something new in those charcoal eyes.

"I'm not shirking. I'm still exploring, bastard," Naruto grinned as Sasuke walked towards him. "What are YOU doing? Just chasing me around?"

Sasuke's smirk turned predatory. "That's not all I'm doing, hopefully."

…when had Sasuke gotten so close?

Sakura, Naruto decided as Sasuke shoved him against the tree's rough bark and continued to try and suffocate him with his tongue, was going to die. This, he determined as Sasuke ground up against him and Naruto couldn't help but moan into the dark-haired teen's smirking mouth, had been a bad idea, no matter how smart Sakura and Sasuke- oh god, SASUKE- were.

But as soon as the blonde felt his teammate's hand go from his waist down to the zipper on his pants, Naruto shrieked (yes, SHRIEKED, a sound that any banshee would have been proud to make) and shoved him away. Startled black eyes widened as Sasuke slammed into the adjacent tree, making some of the bark crack off from the force of it, leaves falling from the branches as Sasuke glared up at Naruto.

"What the fuck was that for!"

Naruto gaped at him. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Naruto screamed, a panicked finger pointing shakily at his rival. "You…you…KISSED ME, you bastard!"

A stare was all he received. Still in shock from the FAR too pleasant activity that'd just been ended rather abruptly, Naruto was breathing harshly, shaking all over and close to either beating the shit out of Sasuke or having a panic attack or just jumping him again- which in itself was making him more inclined towards either beating the shit out of Sasuke or curling up into a fetal position and screaming for a few hours.

After a few more minutes, Sasuke shoved his hands into his pockets and walked towards Naruto. "Moron," he scoffed. "What's the brain trauma from this time?"

"I SHOULD ASK YOU THAT, ASSHOLE!" Naruto barked out, and Sasuke's amused smirk seemed to completely ignore his outburst.

"Need me to carry you to the medic-nin?"

Naruto scurried backwards, right into the tree from- something he wasn't thinking about. "STAY AWAY FROM ME, BASTARD!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes- holy crap, did Sasuke even KNOW how to do that?- at Naruto. "Oh yes, that's going to stop me. Insult me and run away. Very noble, _hokage-san_."

Naruto's mouth began its impression of a flailing, dying fish. "Huh?"

Before the blonde could notice, Sasuke had scooped him up (which was actually rather amusing, seeing as Naruto was about 3 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier) and was jumping along through the trees. "You're going to get yourself killed one of these days, idiot, with how many trees you smash into."

And that was when Naruto realized that Sasuke's seal was missing. The seal that Orochimaru left so long ago. The seal that Couldn't Come Off, no matter what anyone tried.

"Sasuke," Naruto's voice sounded strained, even to his own ears. "I have a concussion, and my memory's fuzzy and all that shit, so tell me about me and…and you."

Sasuke snorted. "What's there to tell, dumbass? You're hokage, I'm head Anbu, and we've been married since we were 15."

And that was about when Naruto passed out.


	2. Revelation 2: Underneath the Rivalry

(Updating again because I will have NO time for a while and got twenty minutes…Be aware, this fast of updating is RARE.)

A/N: To explain the chapter system- there are the truths (in this case, Underneath the Rivalry) and the revelations (3 each- Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke, although not always in that order). Sometimes they'll change, and numbers aren't assigned to people, they're just a counter for how many people have had that specific revelation. Confused yet? Don't worry, it'll make sense when I've got more than two chapters…

I drew Sakura and alter!Sakura way back when, along with little sketches of everyone else (even though I can't draw the back of Sasuke's head for the life of me), but I have no scanner to show you all the beautiful mediocrity of my art skills. Excuse me while I go pout with my computer paper and mechanical pencils.

Obviously, alter!characters are OOC. This is INTENTIONAL. Thank you.

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 2- Underneath the Rivalry

Deep in the forest, Sakura stared at herself.

Pink hair, save bangs, hung tied in many long, thin braids was held back from her eyes with the usual forehead protector, cold mint-green eyes stared right back at her, and an outfit of tight white pants and a long red jacket with her symbol on the back over a _tiny _dark blue shirt that left nothing to the imagination were the only physical differences between the two…oh, wait, no, there was a-

"WHAT THE HELL? I'M MARRIED!" Sakura shrieked, pointing at the silver diamond ring on the other Sakura's left hand.

"Engaged, actually, now who the hell are you and why are you suicidal enough to try and find me?" other-Sakura snapped.

"Wow, this is some kind of genjutsu," Sakura said appreciatively.

"I was about to say the same thing," other-Sakura said dryly, and flicked her hand.

Immediately, ten leaf-nin dropped from the surrounding trees and surrounded the two Sakuras. All, Sakura noted, had the Haruno ring on their clothing.

A ripple of movement emanated from behind her, and Sakura lashed out. Her fist met another fist, both perfectly aligned, both in the same stance, both wearing the exact same black gloves. Mint eyes met cold mint eyes.

"Who do you work for?" the other Sakura asked coldly. When Sakura made no move, either to answer or attack, the other glared. "The hokage? Uchiha? WHO?"

Sakura took a moment, then glared right back. "I work for Tsunade, and myself."

"Wrong answer!" the other Sakura shouted out, lips curling into a snarl, and attacked. Red coat billowing out behind her, her punches and kicks came at a speed she'd never been able to achieve, furiously on the offensive. Sakura held herself at bay, but barely. The match rolled and jerked through the ring of ninja, the ground shaking from the force of their battle.

And suddenly, she was frozen. No, not frozen…!

"Good job, Ino-pig," alter-Sakura said, a strange smile on her face.

Sakura's mind panicked, watching her own body shrug. "She was easy," her own voice said. "Now get to the whacking, forehead girl…unless you're feeling kinky?"

And what the HELL was Ino doing with her body! Sakura shut off her mental awareness, refusing to see what the blonde girl was making her do.

"Ino, stop that! It's creepy."

Sakura was tempted to kiss herself…or, whatever. This was so confusing.

Her own voice laughed. "Fine, _Haruno-san_."

"That's creepy too!" This Sakura sounded like a thirteen-year-old! How the hell had someone like HER managed to get Sakura under Ino's shintenshin? It was embarrassing. Ino would never let her hear the…end of it…

…why was she suddenly so sleepy?

"Goodnight, Sakura," Ino's spectral voice whispered into her ear, and she could feel phantom lips on her forehead as she drifted off to sleep, a strangely contented feeling seeping into her limbs as that soothing darkness consumed her.

--

"-they want a Haruno Sakura, they'll get one," her ears picked out Ino's voice.

"Not to mention if she's a spy, the entire effort will have been for nothing," Shikamaru's voice added in, still sounding as bored as Sasuke when Naruto wasn't around.

"And the possibility this is some innocent clone of me?" Was that HER voice? What time was it, anyway? Oh shit, was she on a mission? What was going on?

"Haruno-san…she's awake," Hinata's shy voice came out, closer than the other three, and Sakura opened her eyes, and stared at the remains of her friend.

Half of her face was horrifically burned, the flesh white and puckered. The other side was the same beautiful woman she'd become over the years, but a shadow hung over her white Hyuuga eyes.

"What happened?" Sakura whispered.

"I'm sorry, Harun…um, miss, what do you mean?" Hinata asked, obviously confused as to her pink-haired compatriot's question.

"Uchiha Sasuke happened," other-Sakura said quietly, and Hinata turned bright red, pulling the hood of her jacket up over her face.

Green eyes met green eyes, and Sakura glared at her alternate self. "Sasuke would never do that to anyone."

"Rules out spy," Shikamaru muttered. "She's too stupid to be believable."

"Who are you?" the other Sakura asked, ignoring Shikamaru's cutting remark.

Sakura took a deep breath. "I'm Haruno Sakura, chuunin, Team 7, of Konoha. I'm apprenticed to the hokage, Tsunade, and I've known Uchiha Sasuke for almost half my life. He would NEVER do that to a friend."

The others in the room had frozen as soon as Sakura mentioned Sasuke's name, eyes wide and startled as she barreled through the words.

"Everyone out," the other Sakura snapped. Shikamaru and Hinata immediately complied, frowning as they crept out of the strange wooden hut before either Sakura looked away from the other.

Ino, however, stayed.

"Ino. Out."

Ino glared. "I have every right you do to stay in here-"

"OUT."

The blonde's fists clenched, and with a final glare stormed out of the hut, the leather flap snapping against the side of the shelter with a vicious force. Both Sakuras winced at that.

"And she was in such a good mood," alter-Sakura sighed, and pulled a stool up next to Sakura's cot. "Now, are you going to honestly answer my questions?"

"If you'll do the same," Sakura snapped. The other Sakura nodded, and began.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen, nearly eighteen. You?"

"Same. How did you find the base?"

"I used to play here when I was younger. Who are you engaged to?"

"Ino." Sakura choked, but Other Sakura plowed right along. "Are you still a member of Team 7?"

"Of course. Why aren't you?"

Other-Sakura sighed, rolling her neck to release a bit of tension. "That's a long story."

"Give me the short version then," Sakura snapped.

Other-Sakura gave her an appraising look. "Are you sure you want to know this?" Sakura nodded. "I was assigned to Team 7, which I'm sure you remember. Sasuke and _Naruto_-" there was a strange burst of anger at the name " – kicked up a pretty good rivalry, and I had a huge crush on Sasuke at the time. But, we managed to mostly make it work, and got stronger.

"The years and missions went by, and soon it was time for the chuunin exam. Ino and I beat each other up and didn't make it into the finals, and Naruto and Sasuke made it through with practically no problems. But during the finals… after the fight, Naruto was standing just outside the barrier when the third hokage died, and then…I don't know what happened, other than everyone but Sasuke in a twenty-meter radius ended up a charred, crackling corpse.

"After that, things…changed. Some guy named Orochimaru was after Sasuke, and of course _Naruto_ wasn't about to let that happen, so he and Sasuke disappeared for a while, leaving me and Kakashi behind to worry ourselves to death. When they came back, they were…different. And they told us to prepare, that the snake guy would be coming in a couple years. Naruto ended up as hokage after that, and he and Sasuke got engaged a year later-"

"…What?" Sakura blinked, half in shock and half absorbing the information.

Other-Sakura frowned. "What, they're not married wherever you're from?"

"NO! And I'm not marrying Ino, either!" Sakura snapped, and Other-Sakura looked like she'd been slapped. A cold fury wrapped over Other-Sakura, veiling her face.

"When you feel up to it, you can leave. This-" she pulled out a simple, thin wooden disk on a plain silver chain. A Haruno ring. "- will let you come and go from the base. And…if you did bring the rest of your team…STAY WITH THEM. I'm not responsible for what my people will do to them if _you_ aren't with them. We've learned to attack first and question later." Without another word, Other-Sakura swept towards the exit.

"WAIT!" Sakura shouted out, and the alternate version of her paused, turning back. "Ino…does she…do I…I mean, do we…"

Alter-Sakura smiled that strange, small smile from before. "Yeah, we're in love. Is it really that surprising?"

Images swamped her mind, visions of flowers and battles, hair falling to the ground and moments where the screams were more comforting than any other interaction could ever be. Of a little, shy girl, and her guarding, caring, beautifully annoying best friend.

"Actually, it really isn't," Sakura finally said. Other-Sakura let out a kind-hearted laugh and shook her head, the pink braids flying. "What should I call you anyway?"

Other-Sakura thought for a moment, then smiled at her. "Haruno-san. Everyone else does, after all." With that, the alternate Sakura walked out the flap, letting it fall back into place with a simple muted fwap.

Sakura fell back into the bed, questions and shadows plaguing her mind. What in that scenario could have made Team 7 break up, not to mention make her- HARUNO-SAN, she amended loudly in her head – want to kill Naruto and Sasuke? Not to mention attack before talking…

It didn't take a genius to figure out something very, very wrong was going on in this genjutsu. And she was going to get to the bottom of this lunacy if it killed her.


	3. Revelation 1: Within the Self

(Due to excessive homework and/or laziness, I'm gonna be responding to all your lovely reviews later on. Sorry, butmy brain's fried from school right now.)

A/N: I'm not sure yet, but the perspective will most likely keep cycling through the three, although I make no guarantees on the order chapters/perspectives will go in. This thing just sort of writes itself and I…go with it, but I'll try to keep it from being the same person three times in a row or something.

Oh! Right. Also KakaIru, 'cuz that's downright adorable, even though it won't be much talked about, and is more they're together forever no matter what and everyone knows it.

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 1 - Within the Self

Sasuke examined the ruined neighborhood with a clinical eye, absorbing minutiae and adding it to the growing conglomerate he categorized as observed information. He'd been doing this for almost three hours now, sticking to the decimated southeast district of Konoha and analyzing it for clues as to what had happened inside this genjutsu to rip the Hidden Leaf Village apart so brilliantly.

Whatever it had been, it was big. Really big. And it hadn't been alone.

The prominent tracks alone had to be forty feet wide, and appeared as if the depression had been made from something being dragged down the streets…or possibly slithered down. The second Sasuke was fairly sure were from Gama Bunta himself, although it could have been any other large amphibian. And the third, which were still coated in a decomposing milk that had crystallized in the packed dirt, was undeniably slug.

He didn't know if that was good or bad. Either way, it implied that the sannin had been together in Konoha and fighting all out, full summonings and all.

Frowning, he trailed a hand along the slug's track, watching the strange muddy concoction stick to his fingers. What could have made something like that happen here?

Or worse, who?

As he contemplated the new information, there was a flicker of unfamiliar chakra behind him. Unfamiliar, but also weak and not one bit hostile. Apprehensive, but nothing else worth noticing.

"Go away," he stated, not even looking behind him.

A shift in footing- nervous, then. "But…Hokage-san requested Uchiha-san in his office immediately."

Sasuke frowned. _His_?

"Did he say what about?"

A gulp. "Uhm…I don't think I should say what he said…"

Interesting. "Verbatim's just fine," he said, voice impatient as he brought the sludge closer to his eyes, trying to gage it's age at the same time he pumped what had to be a genin (and barely that) for information about this absolutely CRAZY genjutsu.

"He said…he said 'g-get that red-eyed, sc-caredy cat b-b-bastard in here now.'" Sasuke whipped around, staring at the thirteen-year-old genin, who flinched violently. "I swear that's what he said word for word…!"

A smirk leaked onto his lips.

Naruto.

"Tell the idiot I'm busy," Sasuke said, only for the genin to nearly have a heart attack on him. Sasuke rolled his eyes (something he never did when someone could actually see). What sort of idiots was Naruto training nowadays, anyway? The kid was acting like he was a homicidal maniac or something…Sasuke let out a small sigh. "I'll be there, sooner or later. Now go."

"Yes, sir!" the genin snapped an impressive-looking salute (and since when had that happened?) and flickered off.

Sasuke frowned at the ground. There were some very obvious, very scary things going on in this genjutsu…but they had to have done something right for Naruto to be hokage. Not that he'd admit it, of course, especially if the blonde idiot was within one hundred feet…

Wait. If Naruto was hokage, where was Tsunade? Or HIS Naruto, for that matter? Was there another Sasuke running around? Another Sakura? And how would he be able to tell the differences?

His thoughts flew in fifty different directions, but all of them told Sasuke one thing- this could be very, very bad.

Did the others know about this? Did they even need to? Sasuke was admittedly rather intrigued by the option of seeing the differences between hokage-Naruto and dobe-Naruto, if there was one at all. But from the way the stuttering genin sounded, hokage-Naruto probably wasn't terribly pleased with his own Sasuke at the moment.

Giving up on the slug-sludge, he flicked it off his hand and looked at the wreckage once more. For safety alone, he should probably go and tell the others the rather interesting turn in the genjutsu.

Naruto was probably used to waiting for him, anyway. He doubted this alter-Sasuke had changed much in that area.

As he set off towards Team 7's tree, he couldn't help but wonder what this alter-Sasuke was like.

From that useless genin's reactions, he was probably in a pretty high rank (not to mention if Naruto could be hokage, Sasuke HAD to be pretty high in rank, for their rivalry alone), and pretty strict too. The kid had seemed pretty intimidated…no, not intimidated…what had it been?

Sasuke frowned at his thoughts as he leapt over an intact portion of the wall and into the deepening forest. And when the thought finally clicked, he stopped mid-jump, barely catching another branch before nearly plummeting to the forest floor.

The kid hadn't been intimidated, he'd been _terrified_.

Shaking the surprise off, he jumped back into motion, mind racing once more.

Was it possible for Sasuke to be that truly terrifying? To strike fear into the very people he was (most likely) a defender of?

The answer was almost frighteningly honest.

Yes.

A thousand ways yes.

…He probably didn't want to meet this version of Uchiha Sasuke.

Sasuke tried to shake the ice out of his veins as he continued on towards their tree, checking the underbrush and flora for any signs of traps, any hint that someone else had passed by recently.

He found it in the form of one Hatake Kakashi slouching in front of him, thirty feet away from Team 7's tree.

"Yo." The same outfit, the same voice…the same Kakashi, as far as Sasuke could see. Had their old teacher followed them through the genjutsu? It was feasible, of course, but the fact Iruka-sensei-

Well, definitely not HIS teachers, then. One look at the Academy teacher answered the question.

Iruka-sensei paced at the base of the tree, far paler than the real version of himself (even Kakashi was paler, now that he was actually looking at skin tones), a defeatist set to his shoulders, but all the while keeping Sasuke in the corner of his eye, like a deer watching a predator. And when their eyes met, barely contained pain and caution boiled out at him.

"You look different," Kakashi commented, ever annoyingly nonchalant.

"What are you two doing here?" Sasuke asked, ignoring the not-so-subtle hint that the jounin knew something was off.

Iruka gaped at him. Kakashi actually blinked.

And, not-so-surprisingly, while Sasuke took a moment to be smug about startling his teacher into BLINKING (HA! Take that, dobe!), he was thrown against the tree he stood against, Kakashi's sharingan out and weighing him down in a violent red.

Immediately, his own sharingan burst to the surface, an instinctive response after years of battling Itachi, whether in his mind or the real world.

Again, Kakashi blinked. "You have three…"

…Great. This evil twin version of himself was also a wimp. No wonder Naruto was hokage, if this Sasuke couldn't beat his rival down (as his duty demanded) anymore. The idiot's ego was probably the side of the mountain because of it, too.

Warily, his teacher backed off again, staring. "Who are you?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," he said calmly, and then paused. "The strong, not evil one." It'd work as well as anything, he supposed… "What's the situation here?"

And Iruka laughed, like fifty pounds of stress had just been lifted off him. "We live here, Uchiha-san," he smiled, and Sasuke tried to ignore how weird it sounded for his old teacher to call him Uchiha-san. "We're…mediators, of a kind."

"Between who?" And why here? It would only make sense if-

"Between you and Naruto, and Sakura."

Well then. That information was interesting and wrong on so many levels. He couldn't figure out which was more disconcerting- who he was fighting, or who he was allied with.

"Naruto doesn't know you're here, does he?" Kakashi asked, although it hardly sounded like a question.

Sasuke glared. "I don't know what you're talking about."

And they began a staring contest, both trying to judge what the hell the other was on about as Iruka let the boys' judgment match continue, choosing to keep watch instead.

"Don't attack!" An all-too-familiar kunoichi's voice called out hurriedly, barely on top of Iruka's shout of "Sakura inbound!"

Sasuke was immediately fully on guard when her pink head appeared in the area, judging for anything that would differentiate this Sakura from the one he'd entered this genjutsu with. Kakashi now the lesser threat (Sakura hit HARD), his glare shifted to the encroaching medic-nin.

"Who are you?" Sasuke stated, and, breath coming quickly, Sakura answered.

"I'm Sakura, chuunin, Team 7," she answered, clearly being cautious about her word choice. "I- WE- came here using a genjutsu scroll from Orochimaru's collection…"

She could have coerced the information from the real Sakura. She could have even done something to read Sasuke's mind, or maybe even guessed. He didn't know how different this genjutsu was from the real world-

"Haruno-san, WHAT are you wearing!" Iruka shouted out, taking in Sakura's outfit. The pink-haired chuunin frowned, looking down at her own outfit.

"Nothing new, why?"

That sealed it, Sasuke thought, adding a bit of a commendation to Iruka's almost-subtle differentiation of the two. He'd always known the man was bright.

"Sakura," Sasuke called out, bringing her attention back fully to him (visibly, at least). "What have you found out about the genjutsu?"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but we're real," Kakashi called from a nearby tree branch. Iruka nodded.

His students blinked up at him, and Sasuke tried to keep from glaring death at Sakura. She'd matured enough to not cry from it, but she'd sulk for hours, and was probably doing that self-guilt thing enough already. If he did it to Naruto, they would just get in a good fight…hm.

He frowned. "Where's Naruto?"


	4. Revelation 2: Within the Self

A/N: Questions concerning alter!Naruto will be answered slowly throughout the story, so I don't end up blowing people's brains apart with my conspiracy theory thing about Yondaime and whatnot. Me? Paranoid? I have NO clue what you're talking about…

"Manly hunger" line Tribute to Rodney McKay from Stargate Atlantis, because he's a snarky physicist (two of my favorite things!).

(And, as ever, you've got m'dear Tara (moonshine and mustard seed) to thank for whipping my ass into writing.)

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 2 - Within the Self

Naruto was in jail, which sucked. So did the company- pants-Sasuke sat in the corner, just SMIRKING at him. It was painfully suggestive, and downright freaky because his Sasuke would never demean himself by leering at Naruto, prisoner or no, for almost four hours. Especially when Naruto was pretending to sleep.

Plus, he was wearing pants – long pants, mind! – and never had Naruto seen Sasuke in anything but bandaged legs and his stupid shorts.

Come to think of it, there were some other differences between pants-man Sasuke and shorts-bastard Sasuke. Most obvious was, of course, the baggy black pants. But the fact his forehead protector was on a long red strip of cloth should have told him something, back in the forest. The tasseled black hilt of a sword – Naruto had yet to get a good look at it – also peeked out from above his left shoulder.

But, none of those things were what keyed Naruto in on the fact this wasn't _his_ Sasuke. Not even the insanity known as Uchiha Sasuke jumping him in the forest and claiming further insane things were the unquestionable truth (showing off a shiny gold ring to verify the poor bastard's delusions) was enough to convince him.

It was the simple observation that the back of the last Uchiha's stupid shirt thing (it was too screwed up to just be called a 'shirt') was conspicuously undecorated.

Pants-Sasuke hadn't mentioned it, and Naruto sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up.

Especially when he was still smirking in that scarily seductive way…and no, he did NOT just think Pants-Sasuke was seductive. Not in the least, because Sakura was a pretty girl and even though he hadn't had a crush on her for a few years now, or any other girl for that matter, or ANYONE, come to think of it…except that one _crazy_ thing about he-who-Naruto-refused-to-name-for-obvious-reasons when he got plastered at Chouji's birthday party four months ago…

…Shit, he was SO screwed.

Something must have gone wrong with the genjutsu. Hell, it had happened plenty before, so there wasn't anything really surprising about the fact. Trying to keep a frown off his face, Naruto thought back on what had happened.

First they did the genjutsu, and it seemed like everything was okay…well, as far as Naruto could tell, at least. He wasn't in the least bit of denial about the fact he wasn't a jutsu expert. Sakura had woken up first, left word with Sasuke that she was going exploring, and left. Sasuke, being the impatient bastard he is, woke Naruto up, and they both went exploring in their own ways, and then…The Incident.

"I know you're awake, moron," Pants-Sasuke smirked towards him. "I don't know if I should be disgusted or pleased that you're still as stealthy as an earthquake."

And apparently Pants-Sasuke was painfully off-guard around Naruto too, since he didn't even see the swift kick in the groin until Naruto's foot had connected with an incredibly satisfying ferocity.

"What the hell!" Pants-Sasuke hissed, doubling over in pain.

"STOP LEERING AT ME, YOU BASTARD!" Naruto shouted back, again pointing a finger accusingly at the very, _very_ wrong version of his Bastard-Sasuke.

Glaring daggers, Pants-Sasuke was suddenly right on top of Naruto, throwing him to the ground and straddling the blonde's hips, hands barely restraining Naruto's wrists on the floor. "Would you prefer I just skip the leering, then?" he smirked viciously.

Growling, Naruto tried to buck him off, but stopped that VERY quickly as it brought both of them to moaning from the friction. "G-get OFF me, Pants-Bastard!"

"And why would I do that?" this wrong version of Sasuke muttered, nipping at the side of Naruto's neck.

"Because you're supposed to be guarding him, not molesting him, maybe?" an eerily familiar voice suggested, accompanied by the swing of rusting hinges.

With that ridiculous Uchiha grace, Sasuke rolled off of Naruto, expression something he'd never even seen before- it was like a cross between sleepy and smirking, with an extra touch of masochism accenting the corners of his lips.

"Naruto," Sasuke smirked towards the bars, each syllable long and vicious.

Naruto, a strange sense of terror gripping his stomach, felt his head twist slowly to the side, staring at the man this Naruto had become.

The first thing he noted was, of course, the proud cream-and-red robes of the Hokage, worn proudly over black pants, a black turtleneck, and an Anbu vest. Tsunade's necklace hung over the vest like a holy pendant.

But that was about where anything Naruto considered commendable or truly him ended.

This version of himself had an identical face, true, but the Hokage's hair was slashed with shocks of red. His eyes wore a ring of red around the iris, and his sly grin did nothing to hide the two sharper-than-average canines in his pearly white teeth.

"…you know, I'm still trying to decide if this counts as cheating or not," the Hokage sighed, frowning as he scratched the back of his head.

"Of course not," Pants-Sasuke smirked. "He's you, and it's only cheating if it's someone who isn't you."

"Well yeah, but he's not…me…WHATEVER." The Hokage's agitated voice bounced off the stone walls like a rubber ball thrown a bit too hard, violently unpredictable and ever moving. "Just get out of there, you bastard. I need to talk to myself."

"And why can't I be in here when you do?" Pants-Sasuke asked. If Naruto hadn't known better, he'd have said the guy was pouting.

"Nope! Now get your ass out of there," the Hokage grinned.

This wrong version of Sasuke seemed to hesitate, torn between obedience and his own desires.

"…aaand this is exactly why I need you outta there, Sasuke," the Hokage sighed, opening the cell door and stepping inside without so much as glancing at Naruto as he crossed to the Uchiha, gently gripping the dark-haired man's chin with his thumb and index finger in a gesture so intimate and caring Naruto thought he must be hallucinating. "Sasuke. Remember. He's not me."

"Got that right," Naruto muttered to himself, eyes probably as wide as barrels at the sight.

Sasuke's resistance collapsed, and without another word he strode out of the room, slamming the cell door behind him.

"So," the Hokage grinned at him, a feral, terrifying thing. "Who are you and why can you get my husband to try and protect you?"

"…I have no clue what the hell is going on," Naruto said, barely restraining himself from shouting at the alternate version of himself. "But what I DO know is that this is NOT COOL!"

"Who are you?" The Hokage insisted, growling his words out.

"I'm…uh, I guess I'm you but I am really really _really_ not you at the same time and what the fuck do you mean your husband and why am I married to Sasuke and why do I have red in my hair and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!"

"…so you're claiming to be me?" the Hokage asked, face twisting into an absolutely bizarre face that Naruto hoped he never made. It looked like a ferret or something. "But that makes no sense…"

"YOU MAKE NO SENSE EITHER YOU'RE LIKE ME BUT ALL WEIRD AND REDHEADED AND GAY WITH SASUKE!"

The ferret face twisted to a kind of owl-like face, eyes huge and disturbed and gob smacked. "This is either the stupidest plan ever or you're actually telling the truth."

Naruto wanted to go home. NOW. He wanted to go grab Sakura and Sasuke – oh shit, SASUKE what would happen if – when – GAH he wanted to go home!

"Sakura just had to pick the stupid genjutsu that'll never let me look at Sasuke the same again…" Naruto hissed, arms crossed and sulking on the cot, glaring at the alternate version of him that sat backwards in a chair, still gaping at him.

"…hey, Naruto, how old are you?" the Hokage asked.

"Eighteen, why?"

A yellow-red eyebrow twisted up, accompanied by a devilish grin. "Because you act like you're twelve?"

"Shut up!" Naruto growled. "You would too if you'd been locked up and GROPED by SASUKE for HOURS!"

…the goofy grin on the Hokage's face made Naruto decidedly less intrigued by finding out what the ninja did on his off time. "Yeah, I'd go more with _fifteen_ but same difference, you know?"

Naruto smacked himself in the face. "I just want to wake up and this will all be some twisted sort of dream…"

"Hah!" The Hokage laughed, slinging an arm around Naruto and guiding him out of the cell door with a bounce in his step and a horribly amused grin. "You wish, me. I'm real, this is real…I'm more worried about _you_ being the hallucination!"

"…what the hell," Naruto muttered, since it was the only real thought he had in his head, repeating over and over and over the longer he was stuck in Orochimaru's stupid genjutsu.

"Oi! Bastard!" the other Naruto shouted out, and in that annoying way he had, Sasuke was just right there behind them. The Hokage grinned at his husband. "Since he's me it's not cheating, and since it's me, he's yours!"

Naruto's face turned paper white. "Wh-wha-WHAT!" he choked out as the Hokage laughed at him.

"Don't worry, he's just gonna make sure Sakura doesn't try to kill you or something. And, you know, probably kiss you but that's just habit for us, yanno?"

"B-but it's…Sasuke…HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"

"Right! He's your husband. And that really is a BIG difference!" the Hokage beamed at him.

"…Naruto," Pants-Sasuke said. "Are you sure about this?"

"Sure I'm sure! Why wouldn't I be? I mean, look! He's ME," the other Naruto grinned. "Who can I trust if it isn't you and me?"

"This is SO wrong," Naruto muttered, and then remembered that whole 'make sure Sakura doesn't try to kill you' thing. "Wait, what the hell did you do to Sakura-chan!"

"No idea, really," the Hokage sighed, a bitter smile on his lips. "Soon as I was Hokage, she just went crazy and tried to kill me and Sasuke. Now she's trying to destroy Konoha."

"SAKURA!" Naruto gaped. "But…Sakura-chan! That makes no sense!"

"We come from very different worlds, I guess," the Hokage sighed. "Haruno Sakura isn't the girl you know, and you aren't the Uzumaki Naruto that Konoha knows. But deep down somewhere, we're the same person."

And for some unknown reason, Naruto really, truly hoped that they really, really weren't.


	5. Revelation 3: Within the Self

A/N: And we get into the actual plot of Reality in Alteration! Which is good. Promise. Especially since I love me some plotline. Mmm, plot.

In regards to confusion between a character and their alter!character, I've tried to make it as obvious as possible who is doing what, but I can completely understand being rather befuddled. SO. The general rule is that, if they're referred to as their first name, it's the Standard version of the character. Dark!Naruto will usually be called Rokudaime, Dark!Sasuke "Uchiha" (or "pants-Sasuke" if Naruto's talking about him), and Dark!Sakura as Haruno-san in the narration. Hope this helps!

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 3 - Within the Self

"Where's Naruto?"

Sakura frowned. "I thought he was with you," she pointed at her teammate, expression turning dark. "And it's about time for him to meet us here."

"He's an idiot, but a reliable one," Sasuke nodded, holding back a grimace. "With the current…complications with our situation, he probably walked right into the Hokage's tower and was arrested for impersonation."

"So you know about the doubles, then," Sakura nodded. "I've spoken with other me – Haruno-san – and it looks like we'll be able to travel freely so long as you're with me."

"What else did she tell you?" Sasuke asked.

"Ah…first, what did your reconnaissance show, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked. She was in no hurry to break the news of their alternate backgrounds, especially since Sasuke probably wouldn't be happy to hear he was a gay psychopath in this world.

Sasuke shifted, just enough for Sakura to tell he was discontent with something. "…something big happened here. At least two of the sannin were involved in the destruction of Konoha. Tsunade and Jiraiya for certain, and probably Orochimaru as well." He paused. "Naruto's Hokage, and this version of myself is much weaker and stupid."

"You spoke with him?" Kakashi's voice called out nonchalantly from the base of the tree.

Sasuke snorted. "I don't need to," he said simply, and then paused. "So you and Iruka-sensei are mediators of a sort."

"Yes, Uchiha-san," Iruka-sensei said simply, only to amend the name to "Sasuke-kun" at the half-disgusted, half-horrified look from Sasuke.

"Do you also advise at times?" Sasuke asked.

"When one side wishes to address the other, yes, we occasionally bring them the news," Kakashi said idly.

"Sasuke, what are you planning?" Sakura hissed out, glaring at her teammate. They needed to get back to their own world as soon as possible, not get embroiled in a political hissy fit turned blood feud!

"Naruto obviously got captured by himself," Sasuke said, and paused. "…his other self. Naruto is currently imprisoned by the Rokudaime. And we already have an established form of safe communication through Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei."

Kakashi was politely noisy when he landed on the same branch as them, the fourth of his face they could see relatively passive. "I don't know what exactly you're planning, but I'd like to." His eye smiled viciously. "Especially since I'm part of your plan, Sasuke-kun."

"We call a meeting between the wimp me with our Sakura," he said simply. "I take his place, rescue the idiot, and we hide out until we can release the genjutsu."

"How much stronger than this Uchiha are you?" Kakashi asked, voice deadly serious.

Sasuke snorted. "You said his Sharingan's only at level two. And if anyone should understand the differences between levels, Kakashi-sensei, you should."

"Haruno-san and I are evenly matched," Sakura added, matching their tone. "Punch for punch. I have a suspicion she concentrated more on ninjutsu and genjutsu that medical jutsu, though."

"You're a medic-nin?" Kakashi blinked, and Sakura nodded.

"I think you should go back to Haruno-san's base for more intelligence," Iruka said simply. "I mean no disrespect, Ha…Sakura-kun, but for the both of you to be believable doubles, you'll need more than the faces and firepower. If Naruto thinks the Uchiha's in any trouble, the plan and half the forest will be destroyed before you can even try to help your Naruto escape."

"At least we know the Rokudaime's still as much an idiot as Naruto," Sasuke muttered.

Kakashi's eyebrow rose. "…your world really must be much more different than ours."

"What do you mean, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked, frowning.

"The Hokage took down Tsunade single-handedly, and managed to outsmart Yakushi Kabuto in single combat," Kakashi said dryly. "He's hardly an idiot."

"…so Sasuke's stronger, I'm equal, and Naruto's weaker in this world," Sakura muttered.

"Or it's purely personality," Kakashi mused.

But Sakura knew that it was a rare time when their sensei was really musing about anything when speaking aloud.

"Let's head to Haruno-san's base," Sasuke stated.

"I'll come too," Iruka said easily. "It couldn't hurt to have another voice to vouch for you, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura took a moment to fish the wooden ring from beneath her shirt and put it as prominently as she could on her clothing. And then, she grabbed onto Sasuke's arm in a way she hadn't done since she was twelve, face dangerously determined.

"You have to stay with me," Sakura stated firmly.

Sasuke looked like he'd rather just run in and break Naruto out if he had to be close like this to anyone for an extended period of time, but another glare at him and he nodded his concession.

"Good!" she nodded, and took a deep, calming breath as the trio started back the way she had come, skimming across the tree limbs as they went deeper and deeper into the forest.

For a good twenty minutes they were running until Iruka dropped back onto the other side of Sasuke from where he'd taken point.

Ten minutes later, a patrol of Haruno-ringed sentries dropped in front of them, staring warily at Sasuke.

"Haruno-san…" one of the guards began, clearly unsteady. "I'm not sure we should let you through."

Sakura knew her teammate was doing his best to look harmless, but…well. That was rather difficult for him to do.

"This isn't Uchiha Sasuke," Iruka said simply. "And this project is classified, not to mention in a bit of a hurry, so we'll be going now."

The sentry frowned. "But Iru-"

"We are going past you," Sakura snapped, glaring. "And this borders on insubordination. You're lucky I was in a good mood, Kiruma, or I would-"

"Of course, Haruno-san," the guard- Kiruma, apparently – said hurriedly, almost frantically, and his team, with a deep bow, flitted back to their posts.

When they moved forward again, Sasuke was half holding her up. Everything was becoming a bit fuzzy, really.

"Sakura, you alright?" Sasuke muttered, barely audible.

"I…I have no idea," she whispered back. "I just…suddenly I knew that man's name…"

"And you don't know him from our world," Sasuke said, and Sakura just nodded. "Hmmph. Another thing to bring up with yourself."

And then they were in view of the Haruno Resistance's encampment – a mass of camouflaged huts and tree houses that could have passed for growths or moss in any grove of any Konoha-area forest. The only thing to really give it away was the massive amount of people.

Children played across the moss. What they could see of the huts and houses' interiors was brilliantly colorful. Women and men were standing around smokeless fires chatting amiably, and ninja flitted about as if moths around a nest.

Said nest was the only more-than-two-story building in the whole (rather sizeable) clearing. It was a building that looked more like it was carved out of the tree's knot than attached to it, with four stories of dimly lit windows in the side. The only other conspicuous thing about the building was the inlaid Haruno ring above the door.

"…I know you probably want to just jump up and get to Haruno-san's office, but I'd suggest you take the normal route up the wooden bridges," Iruka said easily. "Give her time to stop everyone from killing Sasuke-kun on sight and to adapt to their being two Haruno Sakuras."

"Thank you, Iruka-sensei," Sakura said, and meant it, from the bottom of her heart.

The man smiled back at her. "Kakashi and I will help you in almost any way we can," he said, just as sincerely, regret softening his eyes. "You two- no, you _three_, are proof we didn't fail you." He paused. "You're proof that there's still hope."

Before Sakura could get another word in, Iruka had already bounded back the way they'd come and Sasuke was pulling her towards the ramp as politely as possible, which was more or less not so subtle nudging her elbow. The inhabitants of the camp gasped and stared as they headed for the swinging mess of wood and rope. Some children even went running, screaming, to their parents.

Strangely enough, Sasuke didn't seem terribly surprised by it. He just frowned and continued on, Sakura taking the lead again as they ascended the rickety, well-camouflaged ramp to her double's dwelling.

As soon as the two were close enough to see the entrance, Sakura spotted said double, standing impassively in front of the door, face more tense than Sakura had ever thought her own possible. Ino stood on her right, Shikamaru on her left, obviously ready to stop any attack either intended.

"Haruno-san!" Sakura called out quickly, strangling her teammate's arm. "This is Sasuke- the, ah, the-"

"The one not trying to kill you," Sasuke filled in dryly as he stopped their approach, close enough for easy conversation but still far enough away to not make Haruno-san and company uneasy.

Sakura smacked the back of his head lightly, smiling as politically as she could at the three leaf-nin in front of them. "What he means to say is that he means no threat to you or your people, and we're just trying to sort ourselves out and not hurt anyone!"

"Except for the other me," Sasuke added. "Which I can help you with."

Haruno-san eyed them levelly, judging the danger against the possible benefits. "And what do you want from us?"

"Information," Sasuke stated.

Sakura moved forward, dropping her grip on Sasuke's arm just enough that she could move separately. "We think Naruto's been captured, and have a plan to get him out. We're not asking for manpower, just some standard protocols, information…appearances…"

Sakura always knew she was smart, and Haruno-san proved her right, nodding and getting the hint. "Then come in. It'll be getting cold soon, as you know."

Ino and Shikamaru were first through the entrance, and then Haruno-san stood, waiting for them to get inside and follow them through.

"…and you're sure your Naruto's worth saving?" Haruno-san asked icily as the two stepped through the door.

"He's an idiot, but he's our idiot," Sasuke said simply, subtly holding Sakura back from attacking her double. "Whatever your Naruto did, ours didn't. Don't hold him accountable for choices he never made."

"Predictable words, coming from you," Haruno-san growled, but made no move to attack, instead ushering them into a room with a table and chairs, clearly intended as a conference room. "Sakura. He's telling the truth?"

Sakura just nodded, trying to wrap her mind around what could have turned her into this woman. She was strong, yes, but vicious in a way Sakura herself could never hope to be. With just her words, Haruno-san had a cruelty that Sakura was horrified to think existed somewhere inside her.

"Fine," Haruno-san stated, taking the chair at the head of the table in a move that was pure habit, Ino and Shikamaru flanking her. Sakura and Sasuke took seats a couple down on the right side, next to each other. "So. How can we help you."

---

A/N: Shoooort, but I'm trying to be an update bandit, so cross your fingers and I MIGHT get another chapter up in the very very near future:D


	6. Revelation 1: Against the Odds

A/N: Okay, if you _can't tell from the summary_? This has **YAOI** and **YURI**, which means both boys AND girls are gay for their own gender! Don't like it, stop reading. That means you, singlikeamonkey. (Also, please see my livejournal in response to your flames.)

Also, yes, Sasuke now has his timeskip!outfit on. When I started this we hadn't seen him yet, so we'll just…assume Naruto just thinks his pirate outfit looks like shorts instead of the real pants that dark!Uchiha wears! YES! Go flawed logic go.

And dark!Uchiha, despite Sasuke's thought process, really isn't that wimpy. See how you'd react to seeing yourself jump out of a tree and slam you into the ground.

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 1 – Against the Odds

It was deep night already, and both Sakura and Haruno-san seemed exhausted. Sasuke was so intent on saving his idiot that he could have kept up with the conference for as long as necessary (after all, who knew what the wimpy, evil version of himself was doing to his rival?), but the not-so-subtle guards standing on the wall behind him had already been switched out five times. Sakura was starting to get…what was that phrase? Oh, right. Sakura was starting to get bitchy she was so tired, and a bitchy Haruno-san seemed a bit more terrifying than a bitchy Sakura. Sakura, he knew how to subdue. Haruno-san, on the other hand, he probably could subdue, but not without having to take out practically every ninja in the building.

"And I'm telling you, Sakura, there is no way you could possibly pass for me," Haruno-san was sniping, half out of her chair and baring her teeth. "You blush just LOOKING at my shirt, not to mention almost every meeting we go to, I go with Ino."

"Is it my fault you have the physical decency of a porn star?!" Sakura shrieked. "And you bet your ass I could wear that excuse for an outfit if it meant saving Naruto-"

"As productive as this has been, I think I'm tired," Sasuke stated, his voice an iron wall that slammed between the Sakuras as they blinked and turned toward him. "What time would be good to restart our discussions, Haruno-san? And could we possibly impose on you for quarters during our negotiations?"

Haruno-san stared at him for a moment, brain clearly a bit fuzzy until she nodded, motioning to the two guards. "I hope you won't be terribly insulted if I ask you to humor us and stay in a jail cell for tonight."

"Understandable precautions," Sasuke nodded, and stood, only the flick of his eyes toward Sakura asking for the rest of the answer, which Haruno-san politely provided.

"Sakura will be well taken care of," she said.

"I CAN take care of myself, Sasuke," Sakura snapped a bit irritably.

"I know you can, but we've already lost Naruto," he stated.

Sakura was smart, so he knew he didn't have to finish the sentiment, especially in front of her rather unpredictable other self.

_I've already lost Naruto. I can't lose you too._

The guards were polite in that terrified sort of way as they led him deeper into the building, finally into the very center of the tree, hollowed out by gravity and the tree's own evolution. He wasn't terribly surprised to note there was only the one door into and out of the clearing, or that all it contained was a lamp, a bed, and a very tight iron lock that was promptly coated in sap. He didn't know whether to be impressed or disgusted by their brand of security.

Ironically enough, it reminded him of his time underground with Orochimaru, just…pine-flavored.

Setting himself down on the surprisingly comfortable ground, he pulled out a kunai and started moving the dirt around, planning how this would all play out. Seeing if this cell could really hold any version of Uchiha Sasuke. Wondering what that blond idiot was doing, if he was even alive still.

_That's just being stupid_, he snarled at himself mentally. _If there's a Naruto and Sasuke in this world too, they wouldn't kill him. They couldn't kill him. Even though the me here is a weak fool he must see that killing Naruto would be a very bad idea, even if it was just because of possible time-space paradoxes._

But that didn't stop him from worrying.

Finally, fed up with himself, Sasuke flung the kunai into the sap right above the latch, so that nobody could open the door without him saying they could. He pulled his sword out, undressed, and got into bed.

When he woke up, it was to the absolutely disgusting sound of iron against hardening, goopy sap against steel. It was like squishing a plastic bag of soup between your hands. Wincing just from the sound of it, he hurriedly got dressed, replaced his sword where it normally went, and yanked the sticky kunai from where it sat, sending a hooded, black-haired woman in an elegant kimono stumbling into him. As she jerked back violently, the hood fell.

Pure white eyes in a half-burnt face stared up at him in sheer terror, her own kunai dropping to the ground as she covered her mouth, shaking.

Sasuke calmly, quietly backed up.

"I'm not him," he said, voice quiet.

She shook her head, the elaborate updo threatening to break loose as she did so. "No, no, I just-"

"I'm not him, Hinata," Sasuke said, and picked up her kunai, holding it out to her hilt first, point aimed straight at his heart.

She seemed at a loss for words, white eyes tearing up as she grabbed the kunai back from him, staring at the ground. "You ruined me. You burned me. You…you had no reason to do it aside from stupid, bitter jealousy, and now I can barely see out of my right eye-"

And that was all the warning he got before he was suddenly fighting for his life against a speed he'd never seen even Neji achieve, Byakugan full-powered even without the call every Hyuuga he'd ever known needed, flat-palmed blows barely being parried as Hinata snarled, hair unleashed and sliding like a razor across the wind, her body lashing out with a flurry of kicks and attempts on his chakra points so fast that Sasuke had to wonder if the Hinata in their world was simply holding herself back with that shyness.

"You stole my dignity! My pride!" she shrieked, twisting in the elaborate kimono in a move so elegantly deadly that Sasuke ended up dumbfounded…and her shin slammed into the side of his face, a blast of air smashing him into the wall of the tree. "You. Are. EVIL."

"I'm not him, Hinata!" Sasuke finally shouted, the first time he'd raised his voice to a woman in years. "I'm not the one who burned you!"

"Exactly what he'd say," she hissed out, and launched herself at him.

This time, however, he was ready, twisting her wrist and flinging her into the air, already ready to screw any peace talks if they were going to try and kill him in his sleep. She flailed as she began to drop, and Sasuke jumped, punching her in the gut so hard that the inside of the tree visibly cracked at the intensity.

With that and a violent coughing fit worthy of tuberculosis, Sasuke watched her slowly slump, going unconscious as tears slipped from her eye, her figure detaching from the wall and sliding to the ground and into his arms.

He pitied her, and hated himself for it. She'd clearly driven herself to an extent he'd never imagined the Hinata of their world could ever reach, all for revenge.

Sasuke couldn't help but smirk. Another avenger. It seemed to be a catching disease, he thought mildly as he deftly shifted his burden with all proper respect and modestly, politely propping her in the hall that led to his cell and re-entering it, closing the door behind him and slamming the kunai back in place, just in case she tried again.

With a tired sigh, Sasuke drifted off to an unrestful sleep.

_Sakura had gone down, fighting to the end. Enough time to drive a kunai through her alternate self's heart before Ino slashed her down. Enough time for Sasuke to, in turn, drive his sword through Ino's throat._

_But Naruto. Naruto stared at him with empty eyes, hair a dull yellow more like hay than sunshine, the light, all that light just faded from him. _

_He shook him, only to find him limp in his arms. He shook his friend, his rival, shook him, screamed at him to wake up, to shout at him, to laugh and say it served him right, bastard, isn't this a good joke, to demand ramen, to taunt him, to smack him on the shoulder and tell him to lighten up, to just smile, to just breathe, to…to live._

_And above him, another Sasuke loomed. _

"_So this is all that he is in the end." The voice was his, but not his. He hissed as recognition hit him, tugging the lifeless Naruto to his chest at the sound of Itachi and his own voice working synchronously. "Just another nobody. Dead last indeed."_

"_No," he whispered. He knew it was a dream, but he hugged Naruto tight to himself, head hanging low. _

"_Would you like me to make it quick, Sasuke?" Naruto's voice asked, and there stood Naruto, kunai in hand and eyes a bloody red. "You fought well. Better than all of them. You deserve a clean death, ne?" _

_Sasuke snarled, and lightning crackled around the room, booming as the room exploded and he held on to Naruto's body, cold and lifeless, but it was a comforting thought that he'd not leave the dobe waiting too long for him._

_Good sparring partners, after all, were so hard to find, and he'd hate to leave Naruto that bored. God knows what he'd do without him around._

Sasuke didn't wake with a jolt, only a muted gasp at the nightmare. Horror clenched in his stomach, throat thick as he swallowed down the memory of the dream.

It didn't take much psychoanalysis to figure out what the dream had been alluding to. Sick of all this work, all the dodging around each other that the Sakuras had been doing, he blasted the door open with a Chidori that left a sizeable hole in the door.

They could fix it. He had more pressing matters at hand than worrying about property damage and manners. Hinata was apparently long gone from the hallway, and for that he was grateful, mounting the stairs that led to his cell with barely a glance at the dumbfounded, previously asleep shinobi that was supposed to be making sure Sasuke didn't escape in the middle of the night.

"You need a new door," he said coldly, almost viciously. "And I need to see the Sakuras in the conference room."

"—B-but Uchiha-san," the shinobi stuttered, only to be silenced by a glare.

"NOW."

Loyalty was overpowered by self-preservation, and the man took off like a bat out of hell as Sasuke made his way up to the conference room previously used, not even sparing the guards stationed around the building a glance.

"SASUKE!" a familiar voice hissed out in anger, and he caught sight of a half-dressing disheveled Sakura. His, he noted gratefully. "What the HELL are you doing?!"

"Getting the dobe away from me and getting US out of this genjutsu," he practically snarled, Sakura quickly slipping her elbow bands on and standing on his right, a bit behind. "I have lost my patience with the situation."

"Really? Couldn't tell," Sakura said icily, and Sasuke smirked at her, thanking whatever gods were up there that she'd gotten over her crush and treated him like a teammate instead of an object of affection. He enjoyed the dry, sharp sense of humor she got in a bad mood, even though it usually ended with someone's face punched into a building.

Speaking of which… "Hinata attacked me in the middle of the night," he said calmly.

"This Hinata definitely has a reason to hate you."

"I could tell, with all the screaming. The more interesting thing is that this world's one and a half-eyed Hinata is faster and more skilled than even the Neji in our own."

Sakura balked at that, but knew Sasuke wouldn't lie about something like that. Or anything else, really. He preferred to be as straightforward as possible.

"Then what's the Neji here like? If he's even alive, that is," Sakura added a bit sadly, and they arrived in the empty conference room. "Did you know Rock Lee is dead here? Went down with Gai, according to what Haruno-san told me, along with a few others, in the first attempted coup against the, uh, other you and Naruto."

And quickly, every entrance to the conference room was covered by a shinobi, Shikamaru himself at their back and clearly prepared to shadow bind them at the smallest sign of violence as Haruno-san and a rather worse-for-wear Ino entered, both looking murderous. Sasuke matched their expression.

"We came here for help arranging a meeting with the other me and the intention of switching myself with him," he said, cutting through all the bullshit the Sakuras seemed so fond of. Having a forced-politician-kunoichi as a mentor must have twisted her like that. "All I need is a set of clothes and someone to tell me how we deliver the message."

"You assaulted Hyuuga Hinata," Haruno-san said darkly.

Sasuke smirked. "She started it." He paused. "I've been polite, and patient, and that seems to have gotten us nowhere. My friend's life may be at risk, and if you refuse to help me I'll just smash my way in and take him out. Something which, I assume, would probably break your next attempted coup a bit harder, since security would be increased and any inside agents you may have could possibly…impede my goal."

"Which is his way of saying either you help us or we screw up any future plans you may have by wreaking havoc in Konoha," Sakura stated, and smiled with just a bit too much tooth – a form of intimidation Sasuke could trace straight to Naruto.

His heart gave an unfamiliar lurch at the sight and thought.

"I'd suggest you find a seamstress, Haruno," Sakura said, fingers trailing across the table as she dropped a pair of black gloves on the top of the table with another. From the outraged gasp the gesture got from Haruno-san, she was either terrified of the gloves or pissed at her double dropping the san.

"Fine. Clothing, protocol, we'll give you it, in exchange for _Sasuke_ here telling us how he got out of the cell," she snapped.

Sasuke smirked viciously. "Chidori, naturally."

Haruno-san gave him a perplexed look.

Sasuke decided this version of himself was really, _really_ wimpy.

"You need a new door," he said instead, and raised an eyebrow. "Now. Protocol?"

---

The morning was crisp, and Sasuke found himself slightly uncomfortable with the loose pants and shirt Haruno-san had procured for him, along with the slightly disturbing symbolism they'd had to alter his sword with. A circular hilt, a bright red tassel attached to the end of it. The thing screamed two things: fire, and being only right handed, as opposed to ambidextrous, as he'd trained to become over the years.

Haruno-san and Ino stood beneath the meeting tree, awaiting Iruka and his alternate self's arrival. They didn't have to wait long, either – the alternate version of himself was just as impatient as the real one.

His sharingan wasn't out. His sword was annoyingly misplaced; he'd never get it out in time to deflect any real blows. Clearly he didn't expect anything other than a peaceful meet-and-greet, and Sasuke really did think this version of himself was an idiot.

"Uchiha," Haruno-san said coolly, earning an irritated head-cock from the other Sasuke.

"Haruno. Iruka-sensei said this was actually important, so make it quick," he sniped.

Sasuke considered that an invitation if he'd ever heard one. In a move faster than any incomplete Sharingan-user could dodge, Sasuke had him pinned to the ground, a barely restrained snarl in his throat as his red eyes wheeled against the other Uchiha's less developed ones. "I'll make this quick, as requested," Sasuke said, tone almost conversational as he let a jolt of lightning out, figuring that any version of himself would need a bit of prodding to realize something was a threat. He didn't like to admit his flaws, but that didn't mean he wasn't aware of them. "Where are you keeping Naruto?"

For a moment the Sasukes stared at each other, until the prone one actually laughed. "Of course. Things don't really change, do they."

"They can, though," Sasuke said. "Life and death are a good example, wouldn't you agree?"

The alternate Sasuke smirked. "He's in our room." He said it like he'd just won the Ninja of the Year award and Sasuke had missed it by mere seconds.

_Our room._ That did not make Sasuke happy. He expressed the emotion by knocking the man unconscious with the ridiculous hilt they'd put on his poor sword.

"As agreed, Haruno-san, you may feel free to do with him as you will," Sasuke said, voice distant as he considered the options. "No executions, though. I don't know what that would do to either time stream or reality, yours or ours."

Iruka looked torn at the words, but Sasuke had more pressing matters to attend to.

Like getting his dobe out of whatever the hell _our room _meant.

"Take care of Sakura," he said over his shoulder, and headed back the way his alternate self had come, ignoring the twisting in his stomach and the way his mind continued to whisper that there was something very, very wrong going on here.


	7. Revelation 2: Against the Odds

A/N: First off I just wanted to thank you all for the awesome reviews last chapter. I adore constructive criticism, so thank you so much!

Oh, and an **actually important note**! This chapter starts before the previous one ended, and actually has CANON shounen-ai. It'll make sense once you start reading, hopefully…

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 2 – Against the Odds

Naruto woke up screaming when the creepy perverted version of Sasuke turned on the water in the shower. The blanket was soaked, he had to spit out the hard spray of water, and the feather pillow he'd propped up against the tile smelled BAD.

"WHAT THE FUCK," he sputtered, vaulting out of the shower-tub he'd slept in…only to remember he was completely naked underneath, and that pants-Sasuke was appreciating the view a bit too happily.

Growling, Naruto punched his face hard enough to send his skull into the tile walls of the Hokage's bathroom, and then scampered off into the bedroom, trying his damndest to ignore the equally naked version of himself practically purring as he curled around a pillow underneath the covers.

Oh god, Naruto hated this genjutsu so fucking much. The room smelled like blood and sex and he wanted his clothes RIGHT NOW. Luckily he remembered he'd stashed them in the laundry bin…

…but all he found was a bright orange robe, his spiral symbol embroidered in red on the back. No boxers, not even any briefs – hell, at this point he'd have taken a fucking _man-thong_ just to keep this horrible, HORRIBLE version of Sasuke from seeing something he SHOULDN'T.

"Sasuke," the Hokage sighed peacefully into the pillow, and Naruto froze.

His voice. Completely identical. Sounding for all the world like the most content creature on the planet, and all from Sasuke. From sleeping with Sasuke. From having SEX with Sasuke. From touching and kissing and FUCK HE WAS SO SCREWED.

Brain on other things. Like finding underwear. Surely he wouldn't mind if he wore his own underwear? Or…something confusing like that? Using all the stealth skills he had, Naruto crept toward the dresser he knew belonged to the alternate version of himself-

"Top left drawer," the Hokage said, completely awake and blinking a bit sleepily as he stood up, the sheets sliding across him as he grabbed the ends and turned it into a toga-type thing. "Throw me a pair while you're at it."

Naruto opened the drawer, and noticed they were all made of silk. Silk boxers. There was something that meant that he just couldn't put his finger on, but he shrugged and tossed a blue pair at the Hokage, keeping a black pair for himself (because they were so long they were almost basketball shorts and he damn well knew with perverted-Sasuke around he would need ALL the help he could get).

And then he noticed something.

Naruto frowned at his other self's stomach. "Where the hell is our seal?"

The Hokage blinked. "You didn't remove it yet?"

"Hell no!" Naruto said, shaking his head almost violently at even the thought of allowing Kyuubi even more freedom than he already had. "You think I want a demon with even MORE control of me?! No thank you."

The Hokage smirked, shrugging. "I think you'd like the power boost it gives you, though. You'd never have to worry about coming up against someone you can't beat, don't have to spend days and days in the hospital…and _lots_ of stamina."

And those red-rimmed eyes leered, smirking, utterly triumphant as he let the sheet fall and Naruto shut his eyes, wishing he'd given the fucking Hokage the long boxers, because those were like…like the old kind of basketball shorts. The ones that seemed more suited to girls and had a slit up the side for maximum range of movement.

He heard the Hokage make a 'hmm' noise. Heard him come closer as the shower turned off in the bathroom. Wished he could just jump out of the window and fucking RUN but knew that these ANBU were a different breed, because they'd kill him, not catch him.

"You know, you we were kind of looking forward to you being around last night," he said, and a hand was on his shoulder.

And then the Hokage kissed him and Naruto's eyes shot WIDE open, gaping as his mind tried to process that he was kissing him. HIMSELF. Oh, god, so fucked up, so fucked up-

And then he made the mistake of opening his mouth and BAM, tongue, and Naruto didn't even think, he just punched the Hokage in the fucking head and started screaming. A lot.

Which was bad because then an insanely hot Sasuke rushed out of the bathroom dripping wet and…yeah. Naruto was officially screwed. By now it was probably some document that, somewhere, somehow, Tsunade had found the piece of paper and BAM, stamped the seal on a paper that read "Uzumaki Naruto is officially fucked."

Because without the outfit? Sasuke looked a HELL of a lot like his Sasuke. And that meant he now knew exactly what his Sasuke looked coming out of the shower and PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS. CHOUJI. JIRAIYA. Oh god oh god oh god…

Sasuke was now growling and heading for Naruto. It should not have been hot.

"Hey, don't worry," the Hokage said, wrapping an arm around Sasuke's shoulders while he wiped the blood from his lips. A toothy smirk. "Seems Naru-chan's a bit freaked out by getting kissed by himself."

"NO, REALLY?!" Naruto shrieked.

"…and why couldn't you wait for me to get out of the shower?" Sasuke frowned. It was actually a pout but since Sasuke Did Not Pout he was guessing only the Narutos in the room knew what that expression really meant.

Boom, Sasuke kissing Sasuke in his head.

Naruto whimpered and just let himself fall to the floor, slamming his hands over his eyes. His libido would be the death of him. Eighteen years of not getting any and he was surrounded by a very horny Sasuke who _wanted him_ and, even worse, a wet Sasuke who were now kissing the scantily clad other-version-of-Naruto.

"_Please_ get a room or something," Naruto sighed, resigned to his horrible, horrible fate.

"We did. You're in it," the Hokage growled at him.

The very naked Sasuke frowned, turning the Hokage's face to his own. "I thought we agreed he was you?"

"Hey, if he doesn't want in, he doesn't get to stop us from doing what WE want!" the Hokage snapped, a hand slipping down to Sasuke's ass-

"Okay I'll just go for a walk okay? OKAY." Naruto headed for the door, only to find himself stopped by Sasuke's hand on the door. Naked Sasuke standing riiight behind him, arm planted firmly next to his body.

And the bastard leaned down and kissed his neck.

Kill him. Fuck him. Punch him. Turn around and kick him in the balls, lick him, start SCREAMING again, his mind ranted. Do SOMETHING.

Instead, Naruto just found his head planted against the door, shuddering as the other hand ever so gently rested on his hip. So easy to imagine it was his Sasuke, so very easy, like ripping tissue paper…

But he wasn't.

"Get off me," he managed to say in a surprisingly steady voice, and with a hint of reluctance, Sasuke did.

"Not _get me off_?" the Hokage snapped from behind them, where Naruto could hear the slam of a dresser drawer, and then a closet.

"You know, jealousy and red highlights really clash," Naruto snapped at himself, relieved to see that a sullen Sasuke was getting dressed nest to the fully-Hokage'd other Naruto. He blinked. "And you look like an idiot in that hat."

"Says the guy wearing nothing but a robe and boxers for the day." The Hokage turned to pants-Sasuke. "I know we'd prefer one of us watching this idiot, but we both have to be at work today."

The Uchiha (or was it Uzumaki? What name were they going by anyway?) just nodded. "Neji?"

The Hokage shook his head. "Ten-Ten. Neji's got an assignment."

"Just tell her no scrolls. We want him babysat, not tortured," Sasuke said, his indifference blatant and almost scary. He was way too familiar with the concept of torture, with that tone of voice. The dark-haired man paused. "Then again, we could just lock the door."

The Hokage blinked. "Huh."

Freaky Sasuke smirked at him. "And you're in control of how much of the world again?"

"Shut up, bastard," the Hokage grumbled, and swatted him upside the head before continuing on. "Station a couple of guards and we're good to go."

Sasuke frowned. "No, I'm going. You've been shirking for nearly three days now."

"Oh come on!" the Hokage whined. "Konohamaru can stamp the damn forms-"

Sasuke just glared at him.

"…don't give me that look, Sasuke," the Hokage pleaded, but to no avail. "Oh, come on!"

"If I have to go be a diplomat for a couple hours, you can at least listen to briefings on what you've missed the past few days in your world," Sasuke snapped.

The Hokage seemed to size his husband up for a moment, before crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Then I want Ten-Ten in here to make sure my clone doesn't run off."

"I'm not your fucking clone!" Naruto shouted at the two, but only got a glance.

Sasuke nodded. "Fine. But make sure she remembers – no torture."

"What, you think I WANT to see another version of me missing an eye?" the Hokage asked, completely serious. Naruto was probably turning very pale at the moment, but neither of them seemed to care.

Sasuke just shut the wardrobe a bit more firmly than necessary and shoved the Hokage towards the door. The other version of himself was still whining and bitching when he left the room, but Sasuke paused at the doorway, looking at Naruto. He paused, and then before Naruto could really do anything but yelp, the dark-haired ANBU had kissed him…gently. Almost _sweetly_. It was possibly creepier than all the other ones he'd been subjected to.

"I'll be back in a couple hours," he said simply, and with that he was out the door.

Five minutes later, a woman who bore a resemblance to Ten-Ten walked through the door. But it couldn't be Ten-Ten. No way in hell could it be Ten-Ten, because all though their faces looked the same, their eyes, and hair, and good god the CLOTHES were VERY different.

First off, this Ten-Ten look-alike didn't have cheerful brown eyes, but…dark ones. Sure, they were still that mocha color, but she looked about ready to slit your throat at any given moment. The two buns were still there, but they were more like loose circles than the spheres of hair Naruto was used to seeing. But the biggest difference of all was that unlike Ten-Ten, who usually had clothes on, this woman was pretty much wearing what looked like a dark purple swimsuit with a collar and dark pink fabric hanging off her arms and legs, billowing out where it wasn't tied onto her with long pitch black ribbons.

Oh, and she also had two L-shaped knives holstered on her back and moved like some evil cat…person…thing. Graceful and sleek and ready to kill you.

"I'm Ten-Ten," the woman said with Ten-Ten's voice.

Naruto cleared his throat. "Are you sure?"

And with that, apparently all conversation was cut off. Naruto sat himself down on a dresser, and the woman who he refused to believe was Ten-Ten leaned against the wall right next to the door, watching him like an owl watches a field mouse right before it swoops down, grabs it, and eats it alive.

No conversation meant silence. Naruto HATED silence. Especially since it gave him time to think. And almost every thought went to his teammates.

What had happened to them? Were they still alive? Was this world's Sakura truly insane? Had she killed his Sasuke? No, that wasn't possible. No Sakura could ever kill a Team 7 member. It was like saying the moon was about to fall down. But was his Sakura safe from an insane Sakura? What if they were out there, still waiting for him at the tree, stumped as to why he wasn't there yet?

Naruto tried to not think about the worst-case scenario. Death was NOT an option, for any of them. They were both excellent ninjas in their own right. They could watch each other's backs.

But if they DID die…

No.

Soon they'd come for him, and Sakura would be flustered and angry at the trouble they'd been through to get him back from the alternate versions of themselves, and Sasuke would punch him and insult him because he'd gotten scared, and Naruto would just grin and laugh and everything would be okay…everything would be just fine…

And maybe some day Naruto would actually talk to Sasuke about…this _thing_ he had going on. Hell, maybe he could even practice on pants-Sasuke. He was still a bastard, but the guy cared at least a little bit about whether or not Naruto was alive. Maybe he'd listen, or tell him how the hell things had happened between them in this fucked up version of their world.

Naruto didn't know how long he'd spent sitting there in the stupid robe and boxers before he heard a familiar, muffled, angry voice outside, followed by the familiar thunk of a body against the wall.

"One of the guards," the woman he refused to believe was Ten-Ten smirked at him, winked, and opened the door to let a very pissed off pants-Sasuke in. She frowned. "I thought you'd be gone for two hours."

"There was a change in the plan," the man hissed irritably, and not-Ten-Ten just nodded, but didn't move until he barked a sharp "OUT!" which left her raising an eyebrow and sauntering (yes, _sauntering_, since that was the only word he could think of for it) out the door.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died this time?" Naruto growled, annoyed, as he hopped off the dresser and moved to stare at the Sasuke he had to constantly remind himself was NOT his.

Sasuke paused. Looked around the room. Looked back at Naruto. "…shouldn't you be working?"

"How the hell can I work when you and the fucking Hokage lock me up in here?! You wouldn't even give me CLOTHES this morning, you bastard! I swear, even MY world's Sasuke has more manners than you, and he's a pain in the ass too-"

Sasuke had grabbed him by the arms, eyes wide and staring intently at him. "Who taught me Chidori?"

Naruto frowned, shrugging away an arm to check Sasuke's pulse. "Are you feeling okay? You've got a pulse like a rabbit-"

"WHO, dobe!" Sasuke snapped, shaking him.

"OW, fuck, it was Kakashi-sensei you bastard, now either you let go or I'll treat you like you've been treating ME-," Naruto snapped, only to have his voice squeak out when Sasuke HUGGED him.

"You are such a fucking moron, Naruto, you have no idea," Sasuke said, and then backed away just enough for Naruto to barely see the punch to the gut. "No. Fucking. Idea!"

"Oh, that is IT, bastard," Naruto hissed, and grabbed Sasuke by the ear, smashing their lips together…only to find that Sasuke was completely still, like he'd turned into very soft stone. His eyes opened to see painfully wide and SHOCKED charcoal just…STARING at him.

Sasuke jerked back like he'd just been burned.

"…oh fuck, you're _Sasuke_-Sasuke," Naruto gaped.

He was just in time to catch Sasuke when he began to fall backwards, face still caught in an open-mouthed stare.

A/N: …Naruto is not the brightest ninja in town. Poor Sasuke.


	8. Revelation 3: Against the Odds

A/N: Yeah, yeah, you wanted to see Naruto and Sasuke again. But this chapter's important so GUESS WHAT, you get to see Sakura be badass and Inner-Sakura running rampant instead of the boys being stupid. Stupidity comes next chapter, promise. (Poor Sasuke…)

AND THEN AFTER THAT WE ONLY HAVE AROUND 3-4 CHAPTERS (WHICH ARE SO AWESOME) LEFT IN RiA!!! I'm contemplating a sequel/"Part 2" because I'm enjoying writing this fic so much, potentially bringing alternate!Team 7 into (semi) Canon-verse. Opinions?

Also, no longer putting up the summary. We're at chapter 8; you know what the fic is by now, hopefully...

---

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 3 – Against the Odds

---

By the time Haruno-san and Ino returned to what Sakura had been informed was called The Hive, they were being carried by Hinata and Shikamaru, the alternate version of Sasuke being dragged along behind them, Shino helping out a bit on the Sasuke front by picking up his feet.

Hinata was back in a hood, this time in a gray cloak, but the kimono remained, along with the tinkling of silver hairpieces trapped in the elaborate updo Sakura doubted she'd ever get to see.

Hoping she wasn't overstepping her boundaries, she hurried forward, judging the three ninja's vitals and letting the medic-nin in her take over.

"Get them all onto beds. If you have some sort of hospital, now would be a good time to take them there," she said, and to her hidden amazement they followed her orders, leading her through the Hive and into a long room with beds on the sides, the subordinates placing them in order of how they saw their rank – Haruno-san, Ino, and Sasuke, guarded by the three who had carried them in.

Seeing no need to argue since her alternate self really did need the most medical attention, she bent over herself and got to work, sending her helpful genin running with orders for water, herbs, medicine and bandages as she channeled her chakra into her other self.

It was absolutely bizarre. When working on others, chakra healing was slightly like a blood transfusion, requiring the medic-nin to adjust their chakra to that of the patient. But this time she didn't have to do that, merely had to push her own chakra into the system of the other pink-haired woman, who was gasping and cursing within minutes of awakening.

"Your precious Sasuke knocked him out, sure, but then left us to d-deal with the mess," Haruno-san said without prompting, and went into a convulsion, Sakura holding herself down as a terrified genin obeyed Sakura and placed a herb-stained bandage to a deep, cauterized wound in her side.

"That means he expected you to be capable of taking him out yourself," Sakura snapped, thanking the terrified genin and wrapping the wad of fabric up with more bandages. For once she was grateful for how her alternate self had the fashion sense of a hooker, since it was so easy to maneuver things around. "He obviously misjudged you and Ino."

"Or Uchiha Sasuke," Haruno-san bit out, trying to sit up but finding herself slammed back down by a polite enough hand on her throat.

"If you aggravate those wounds and remove the tourniquet, you'll have more than a nasty scar," she said, staring herself down with a strength she'd never really noticed until now. "Now you lay down and I go save Ino while you rest. And if you DON'T rest, I will MAKE you rest, understood, _Haruno-san_?"

By now the _san_ was mocking, and they both knew it. But any Sakura knew when they were fighting a losing battle…at least in a hospital. Haruno shut up and let herself lay down, Hinata quickly filling the place Sakura had vacated to say something comforting and pull a blanket up to the pink-haired woman's chin.

"…If Ino dies, I'll be sure you do too," Haruno said darkly.

"Shut up and sleep," Sakura snapped, knowing damn well she was in her element right now, and not even an alternate version of herself could stand up to her might in a hospital.

Ino had less serious wounds, but from the blank look in her light blue eyes Sakura could guess she'd been stupid enough to try and infect a Sharingan-user's mind. The Ino she knew was well aware that such a move would be suicide. Hell, even SAKURA knew that, and she wasn't the one who could push her brain into someone else's head.

She'd had enough conversations with both Kakashi and Sasuke to know what the interior of an Uchiha's mind was like, and what it could do. While Kakashi wasn't an actual Uchiha, he knew enough about it to have helped her figure out a counter-jutsu should Sasuke, Itachi, or anyone else in the world manage to do severe damage to a mind like what had been done to Ino's.

Which was why she moved aside from Ino, letting one of the other less-trained medic-nins tend to her for a moment, and began crushing medicines into a bowl of water, watching as it turned from brown to red to a painfully vibrant blue that she had to close her eyes around as it glowed from the ceramic bowl. Grabbing a cloth with gloved hands, she soaked it and turned towards Ino's bed, roaring a "MOVE IT!" to the others, who complied readily as she laid the compress over Ino's eyes.

Stripping off her gloves and putting them to the side, she cradled Ino's neck and head in her hands, gently lifting her up while keeping the compress stable on the eyes. With that done, she gingerly put on one glove, the other cradling the girl's neck.

She took a soothing, calm breath. With a chakra-fused jab into her neck vertebrate, Ino's eyes opened, and she screamed. One, two, three frantic breaths, and with her gloved hand she yanked the cloth off, leaving a frazzled Ino with bloodshot eyes that swiveled about the room.

"Relax, Ino," Sakura commanded, and the blonde complied. "Close your eyes and concentrate on your sense of touch. When that's done, move to taste, then hearing, and then smell. Then count to ten backwards and you can open your eyes."

Honestly, the counting to ten was all hogwash she was hoping would send the girl back to sleep. The sensory readjustment wasn't necessary either, but two out of three sharingan users she had ever come into contact with agreed that it left you a bit frazzled when moving from the psychic plane to the physical. And considering the third one would be more likely to either ignore her or kill her, she was satisfied with the two answers.

"That was amazing," one of the genins gasped, and Sakura just shook her head.

"If you have any medical disposal areas or jutsus, get rid of that bowl and this cloth immediately," she called, tossing the slowly shriveling cloth into the hissing blue bowl. "It's highly toxic and if you leave it in the air for too long you'll be in a wheelchair for a week."

Ninja immediately swarmed the bowl, and with a poof of smoke the thing was gone, frantic eyes shifting from each other to her and back.

It was almost surprising to realize they were afraid of her. The fact she'd just saved both their leaders, one physically, the other psychologically, made her stronger than them in the ninja's eyes, and in turn a threat.

She winced at the thought. _Get a grip, Sakura_, she told herself. _You're starting to sound like Sasuke_.

Speaking of which, she found the dark-haired ninja sweating furiously, his skin even paler than it normally was, teeth clenched tightly. The symptoms immediately pinged a single word that left her first gaping at the alternate version of Sasuke, and then glaring at Haruno.

Poison.

_They'd fucking POISONED him. _

"Bitches," Sakura hissed out, and, glaring, caught a nearby chuunin's eye. "Get me water." The boy just stared, and Sakura snarled at him. "NOW!"

"No," Haruno said from her bed, raising up enough to glare at Sakura.

"I thought I told you to sleep," Sakura said darkly, already moving away from Uchiha's bed and grabbing a sleeping herb in one hand, crushing it and ready to fling it into the bitch's face as she approached the front of the hospice.

"I thought you knew that that man is our _enemy_," Haruno hissed, and even with the injuries, the blood still staining the hospice's sheets, the other version of herself managed to twist the herb-holding wrist hard enough and fast enough that Sakura had to bite down on her lip from the pain, glaring up at the downright evil version of herself. "Uchiha Sasuke has murdered innocents on a whim, has destroyed everything that was once good in Konoha, and is a menace to every living creature on the planet!"

"He's still human," Sakura bit out, finally snaking her own hand out and wrenching out of Haruno's grip, barely restraining herself from punching the other Sakura in her twisted, viciously triumphant face. "I don't give a SHIT what you think of him, because I am NOT letting you just poison him to death."

And the worst part of it all, beating out even the twisted fact that they'd brought him all this way only to kill him, that a man so strong could be undone with the plunge of a syringe, was the simple fact that she'd known he wasn't poisoned when they'd brought him in, merely unconscious. Someone had slipped a needle into her patient with the intent to kill right in front of her, and she hadn't even noticed. Guilt clenched in her stomach as she glared at her double.

"What, you think you're responsible for him?" Haruno sneered. "You think you still have some bond with that monster? He's almost as bad as Naruto! They. Are. EVIL." Their eyes locked. "Leave him, Sakura. He's not your responsibility."

Her hand had snapped out and slapped the woman before Sakura had even registered the movement. Ninja swarmed her, but she managed to push them off, screaming. "Like hell he isn't, you bitch! Sasuke is Sasuke, no matter what has happened to him, OR to you!"

That seemed to have touched a nerve, since it managed to get Haruno out of the bed (which the medic in her was wailing over). While seven ninja held her back from their leader, said leader stumbled forward shakily, and then snapped out, grabbing Sakura's hair and practically yanking it out with the force that Haruno used. Whimpering, she found herself forcibly bowing to the woman.

"You want to take responsibility for him, fine," she said, voice dark. "I'll let you have your water, and supplies, and even the antidote."

Sakura just stared at the floor, stunned at the woman's sudden change in policy.

Haruno-san crouched down to stare her in the eye, opening some of the bigger wounds and apparently not giving a shit about it. "But you know nothing of what has happened to what was once your idealistic little Team 7. Nothing of what he and Naruto have done to our village, to the world, to their friends, and especially to me." She smirked. "So yes, Sakura. You can take care of the monster. And he can do the same for you."

Sakura had no idea what that meant, but was quickly enlightened when the ninja swarming her shoved her out of the hospice and deeper into the Hive, finally into the jail cell she'd been aware of since her Sasuke's night spent inside. When Uchiha Sasuke's bed was smacked down inside as well, terrified Chuunin leaving her the specified medical equipment, she finally realized what Haruno had meant.

The door shut behind them, sap coating the lock as the lighting in the room flickered ominously, like a thousand moths swarmed about a single burning flame above them. Shadows twisted around the hollowed center of the tree, making her stomach lurch and her head foggy.

_It was either that or they managed to drug me_, Sakura thought darkly, and grit her teeth, hands acting as a vise on the tiny table they'd put all the medical supplies on. _Focus, Sakura. He needs you._

The truth of that was getting more and more evident as the dark-haired man gasped, eyes rolling into the back of her head.

_Screw the drugs, screw Haruno, screw anything that's in my way_, her mind snarled, and she grabbed the antidote vial, inserting a plastic needle and pulling up the plunger, letting the light orange liquid get sucked into the tube. She didn't know what other effects it would have, or even if it really was an antidote or just another poison to make Sakura kill him with her own hands, but her mind was getting fuzzier, hands harder to control.

They'd sedated her in the struggle, and that meant she had even less time to save him. Less time to see how much antidote (if it was one, which she didn't have the time to check) would be necessary, less time to check her patient's vital signs and make sure he pulled through, less time to ensure he didn't die of dehydration or something equally simple. She didn't have the time, didn't have the time for anything except cursing Haruno Sakura's vicious bitter streak. That, and pray to whatever would listen.

"Please don't die," she whispered, tongue thick in her throat, as years of working on her own Sasuke's prone body led her to the right muscles and she inserted the needle efficiently, pushing the liquid in.

The man jerked at the sting of the needle, but the deathly pallor was already starting to sweat out as she withdrew the needle and let it drop to the table, stumbling backwards as her vision started to go hazy around the edges.

"Drink water," she managed to get out, just in case this world's Sasuke could hear her. "Rest."

There was no response. She hadn't expected one. Her body seemed to act of its own free will, backing her into the same bed Sasuke had used the previous night.

She thought it was strange that his scent still lingered on the sheets, and that it was so very different from this Sasuke's.

Her last thought before the drug took her was the absentminded notion that Haruno was sure this Sasuke would kill her in her sleep. For some twisted reason, it brought a smirk to her lips.

---

**A/N:** For those of you who know my writing habits and the fact that me updating and/or writing this fast is pretty much, uh, _unprecedented_ and all that, it's because I want to finish something for once, especially something before I start NaNoWriMo next month. If you guys say yes to a part 2 it'd just be to the end of part 1 BUT we've got 3 or 4 chapters to go and WISH ME LUCK because I foolishly want to finish Prodigy after this one, not to mention read the entirety of the One Piece manga…yyyyyyyeah.

I am insane. Please review, tell me if I should be MORE insane and do Part 2, and I love you all, even if I never reply to your reviews. Promise.


	9. Revelation 3: Underneath the Rivalry

A/N: Aaand it's the stupid boys that you've been waiting for!

Don't hate me for the cliffhangers; you ain't seen NOTHIN' yet. The next 3 chapters are going to make you want to crucify me. Also consider this your warning for the Alteration chapters, and that's all I've got to say about that!

Also, for those of you who are not yaoi fans (I know there's a few of you out there, and thank you for your patience and tolerance), you can probably skip about three fourths of the chapter.

**Summary**: A jutsu experiment sends Team 7 into a dark world where Naruto's been hokage of the ruined Konoha since he was 13, Sasuke murdered Itachi at 9, and Sakura's trying to kill both of them. What's going on? And how can they get back to their own world, when they barely know how they got there in the first place? SasuNaru, SakuIno

Reality in Alteration

Revelation 3 – Underneath the Rivalry

_He kissed me._

The thought was strange. Almost like never believing in ghosts and finding a poltergeist had made itself at home on your couch. And just like a ghost, it seemed fleeting, drifting away as he stared at a clean, white, plastered ceiling. It was like a hospital but smelled more like sex than sterilization.

He blinked. He felt strangely hysterical, although he wasn't making a sound. He wasn't wearing his own clothing, but it fit him perfectly. There was something altogether wrong with his situation and he couldn't quite put a finger on what it was, why it was nagging at his brain like this, and, for some bizarre reason, why there was something even wrong.

Physically sound. Chakra system was unaltered, albeit a little fluttery. Couldn't smell or taste the tang of blood in the air. Mentally seemed sound…well, sound enough, considering he could take everything into account like this.

His hesitant exploration of his well-controlled emotions, however, was like getting tossed on a rowboat in the middle of a typhoon, currents blowing him out of the boat, into the water, and lightning and wind flashing around as he drowned-

Sasuke grit his teeth, rolling his eyes mentally as he decided his imagination was as obnoxiously intact as ever, too.

Logic. Start with the facts. Naruto had kissed him. Naruto was staring down at him at the moment, looking like he'd just killed a bunny rabbit that was still twitching and giving him 'Why, God, Why?' eyes. Naruto was _Naruto_.

Further logic. His Naruto had kissed him, the real Sasuke, while under the impression that he was the fake Sasuke, which made him wonder what the hell a wimpy version of himself had that he didn't. _A libido! _answered that annoying part of his mind that sounded too Kakashi-esque for him to be comfortable with, but that wasn't true…was it?

"Oh shit, Sasuke, please don't tell me I killed you with my tongue," Naruto said above him, obviously in his obnoxious 'everything's my fault!' mode that he would probably never fully grow out of.

"You are such a fucking moron," Sasuke tried to say, but it ended up more of a "urguh" as he blinked, his body thankfully finally responding enough for him to shove Naruto's face away and roll onto his knees, leaning against a dresser or something else that was wooden.

"Sasuke, you just fainted. Sit your ass back down and start talking, bastard," Naruto snapped, pushing him back down by the shoulders and sitting himself straight in front of him on the floor. A very nice floor. Sasuke studied it intently for no other reason that it being intriguing. "…are you _blushing_?"

"No," he lied through gritted teeth, knowing his face was probably just getting redder with every passing second. "What's the situation here on your end."

"…okay fine, change the subject, see if I care," Naruto growled, and then with a breath was all business. "I've been imprisoned by you- the other you, I mean, with the grabby hands and the mouth and…wow are you red. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm Just Fine," Sasuke gritted out, ready to punch him or slap him or…shit, he was screwed if this kept up. "Imprisoned. Continue."

"Right, so I got captured when pants-Sasuke, uh, took me by surprise in the forest," Naruto said. Sasuke could tell there were conveniently deleted details, but let it pass. "He mistook me for the Hokage here, and since there were two of me they locked me up for a while. Not much to tell that, uh, really has anything important to it. It's been…uh. It's been weird."

Sasuke smirked a bit at that. "Being stuck with an alternate version of you would do that," he commented, happily regaining control of his face. "Sakura's been stuck around her alternate self, too."

Naruto's head tilted to the side, a hand scratching at his neck as his cheeks turned a bit pink. "Noooot the weirdest part, but that's okay?" He was giving Sasuke that 'please for the love of life itself do not ask' look, but, as usual, he didn't really give a shit.

"We're trying to get any information we can, hopefully to get us back home," he said.

"Uh. Sasuke? You're still sitting down, yeah?" Naruto choked out, only to get a blank, scathing look. "Right. Okay, just making sure. Fainting is bad."

"I didn't faint!" Sasuke snapped.

"So we're married!" Naruto chirped out, and Sasuke gaped at him. "Coming up on our five year anniversary or something! And it has been really, really freaky because they – you and me – or – uh – just…kissing and groping and offered threesomes or two-and-a-half-somes or something and horrible, horrible stuff, Sasuke, I have been hiding in the bathtub with my hands over my ears, seriously."

All he could do was stare.

_We're married?_ and _NARUTO KISSED ME_ and _Why does this all make sense when it doesn't?! _were on repeat in his head. Naruto was gulping air like a fish out of water, watching Sasuke's face that was staring at his own.

Before Naruto could start rambling again, Sasuke held a firm hand up in the universal 'one moment please' gesture as he sorted things out. Really, it made sense. From all he'd heard about their alternate selves, and all that their real selves had gone through, it actually made sense. The only people he could really trust was his team, after all, and with this Sakura being married (or whatever you called it) to Ino, that left Naruto, who he'd always been closer to.

They understood each other on a level where they could routinely try to kill each other and yet still go out for dinner when one just _felt_ the other needed it. He'd never questioned it, just accepted it like he'd accepted everything about Naruto, from obnoxious obsessions with the color orange to having a demon curled up somewhere around his small intestines. Naruto just always understood him. Nobody else could do that.

"That does make sense," he murmured as he let his hand drop, tilting his head as he looked at the dumbfounded Naruto.

"Huh?" Naruto croaked.

Sasuke just shook his head and stood, brushing the wrinkles out of the obnoxious other Sasuke's ensemble. "We understand each other. I guess if I didn't need to restore the clan and wanted a permanent relationship, I'd marry you just like this version of myself did," he said, the logic seemingly flawless in his brain. Sure, he'd probably have to go back over it later when his brain wasn't still…disturbed by recent…things.

"…you do know that marriage means sex, right?" Naruto asked, still staring. And then he gaped. "Wait, did you just propose?!"

Sasuke barely refrained from smacking himself in the face. "That was hypothetical, dobe." Screw marrying him; the alternate Naruto had to be smarter than his model if they could put up with being married.

"Wait wait wait, HOLD on, bastard," Naruto said, snapping from his position on the floor to practically right in Sasuke's face.

Sasuke realized he'd always found the blond slightly (SLIGHTLY ONLY SLIGHTLY) attractive, and was startled to realize how scary a thought that was.

"So let me see if I've got this right," Naruto griped. "If your whole fucking Uchiha clan was still alive and kicking, you'd be gay?"

Sasuke didn't like where this conversation was going.

"And you'd be _hippothetically_ interested in getting married to me except you think you need to have babies but that doesn't change the fact that You Like Me," Naruto grinned.

He would have pointed out how stupid Naruto was and that it was hypothetical, not HIPPOthetical, but he was too busy gritting his teeth.

"I'm going to ignore you and save your sorry ass-"

"-which you find damn sexy-"

"-and I WILL electrocute you if you don't fucking SHUT UP!" Sasuke snapped, grabbed him by the arm, and wrenched the door open, glaring death at everything. Even the terrifying alternate version of Ten-Ten who seemed to be busily at work sharpening two wickedly curved knives. But like any good guard, she moved towards the exit, blocking their exit.

"Sir-" Ten-Ten began, but stopped with a glare.

"If you don't want to die, you will move NOW," Sasuke growled. "Haruno is in the mood to trade, and we have a time limit."

Apparently this was normal and a good thing, because Ten-Ten grinned and, with a very revealing bow, slid out of the way, Naruto pale and silent the whole time.

"Set-up's just like at home," Naruto muttered, and Sasuke nodded so slightly that only someone who knew him intimately (and why did his brain suddenly start sounding like Kakashi after that…The Incident?!).

"With a time limit, I'm not wasting time listening to you," Sasuke snapped off in an obnoxious tone he guessed the wimpier version of himself would adopt in this situation. He hoped. Maybe just…throwing Naruto against the wall or…or…something like that would be more in character for this covert op?

_Plus this may be the only time you have a perfect excuse to kiss him_, that Kakashi voice smirked at him, and while most of Sasuke was disgusted and wanted to punch the thought so hard it molded to the lovely floor work, he had to admit it would be a shame. Orange and red and a nice bit of cream-

"Sasuke," Naruto hissed, and before he could even process more than Incoming Chakra Presence and being pulled around, Naruto had done all those perverted Kakashi-like thoughts for him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt and backing them up into the wall. It was fast enough that Sasuke reacted instinctively, one hand going to protect his teammate's head from the impact and the other pushing against the wall.

But then Naruto pulled on the shirt further and a wide eyed Sasuke found himself lip-locked with a glaring Naruto. Luckily, years of training let him read the expression as 'ACT, BASTARD', while he was sure his was 'WHAT THE FUCK'. But, message conveyed, he pushed Naruto into the wall, his mind still repeating the phrase 'what the hell what the hell' as he did his best to rape Naruto's mouth and find absolutely no pleasure in it whatsoever.

Which was…really, really hard. With the surprisingly soft lips and the tongue and…yeah. Naruto was doing his best to flail about, but that seemed to do nothing to stop the noises he made, and that was NOT conductive to not enjoying this kiss whatsoever. His had was buried in that soft blond hair of Naruto's that was as sunny as the fool himself, and before he could even register that the chakra presence was retreating warily, he noticed there was absolutely no flailing. None.

In fact, Naruto was pretty much wrapped around him and gasping and being all-around far too sexy while still being scantily clad and yes, Sasuke enjoyed this way, way, too much, but managed to pull his mouth away, panting.

Which was of course when Naruto went for his weakness, the seal Orochimaru had left so long ago, and a shudder ran through his whole body.

"Like that, huh?" Naruto smirked against his neck, breath tickling his skin and making the hair stand on end. It should not have been sexy, it was not sexy, it was not good, not good, and…not good.

Sasuke, bright red, clenched a hand to the tattooed patch of skin and wrenched himself away. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and tried to ignore that he was still panting, dammit. And still wanted to keep kissing and…no. Mission.

Naruto was still smirking like he was about to get a lot of satisfaction from his newest mission, which was terrifying because he had a frantic feeling that mission would be HIM. So he glared, grabbed Naruto's wrist, and they jumped out of the nearest window. Roof-hopping, they hit the forest at a dead run.

"You know, we should probably talk about this…stuff," Naruto said, having the nerve to somersault from one branch to another in a fit of giddy stupidity.

"On a cold day in hell," Sasuke snapped, and only received laughter in return.

"Aww, _Sasu-chaaan_," Naruto cooed. "Don't be like tha- DOWN!"

Naruto didn't have to say down, of course. Sasuke was already twisting around and deflecting the incoming kunai with his sword (well, his remodeled sword for disguise purposes, but still his) and trying to spot the enemy.

"I'm still unarmed," Naruto said, voice clipped and in obvious Mission Mode. "I've only got ninjutsu and taijutsu."

"But those have always been our greatest strengths," Naruto's voice echoed back darkly.

"Double!" Naruto snapped out, immediately standing back to back with Sasuke. "Differences are mostly hair color and information."

"Meaning I'm better looking and smarter," the other Naruto called out, dropping down from a nearby tree and onto the forest ground. "Come out, come out, wherever you are…"

"Naruto, get to the tree," Sasuke snapped out, ignoring the scandalized look his partner gave him. Sick of all this, he grabbed the blond by the front of his robe. "You're unarmed and wearing nothing but silk boxers under this thing. _Get to the fucking tree_."

"I'm not leaving you alone with this bastard-"

"Naruto," Sasuke said coolly. "I will be fine. I will meet you at the tree after dealing with your alternate self. And you will escape or I swear I'll tell Sakura you tried to take on a Hokage half-dressed and shoeless."

Naruto glared, but he saw the reason behind it. Even a hundred clones of himself would still be relatively defenseless in any fight that wasn't close-range, and with the Hokage being Naruto and obviously knowing that, he would be little to no help in this fight.

He paused, still glaring at Sasuke. "If you get killed I'm going to murder you in your sleep."

Sasuke just smirked. _I'd like to see you try_, it said.

"Bastard," Naruto muttered.

"Moron," Sasuke replied, and with another unreadable look from Naruto, the blond was bounding off towards the tree, never looking back.

Sasuke dropped down from the thick branches of the Konoha trees, facing the Hokage version of Naruto, not letting his shock at the red streaks in his hair and the red circle around his bright blue eyes show.

"Hiya, Sasuke," Naruto practically purred, pulling out a kunai with a flourish and a grin that showed a bit of fang. Definitely not Naruto.

With a deep breath and a blink of his eyes, Sharingan spinning wildly, he grabbed his sword and attacked.


End file.
